I have always set out to be as honest as possible with everyone when it comes to our journey. I can't stop now! I think it's so important for anyone looking into adoption or maybe supporting a family adopting to know that it's not all rainbows and butterflies! Now that the excitement of it is wearing off, there's the realness of it all, and that is how in the world are we going to pay for all of this!!?? Have we made the right decisions in allowing her to meet our daughter? Is she going to follow through with all of this after we give up everything we've worked so hard to save for our family? These questions are so hard, and I don't know how Chris looks at my messy self, smiles and continues to tell me it's all going to be ok!
If there was an ever an incredible man alive, it is all Chris! That man is literally the most supportive, amazing dude! Like a really good sports bra! :) All jokes aside he's handling this all well! I'm ever so grateful that although our journey has been painful, through it all we still have each other! I think I'm handling it well considering who I am... ( a great big ball or worry)! We've been proactive with our first fundraiser and that is keeping my mind and hands busy. It's just so overwhelming to think about taking $30,000- $40,000 away from our family right now!
It's not all about the money, we've done this before and somehow by grace of God we will do it again! Now though, the stakes are higher! Our sweet Jaisalyn's heart is involved; she has met this woman who gave her life. She has met her sisters. They will always be out there now, and even though I'm so excited for her to know that, it hurts my heart to think that it could all go away at any moment. I guess what I'm trying to say is.. if you've seen me in the last week, and I wasn't screaming it from the rooftops, or smiling ear to ear.... it's because I'm so very scared right now! I'm all up in my head freaking out!!!
I'm writing this to educate and create an understanding
of all the ups and downs adoption can entail! I want you all to know that this all comes down to faith! While, I'm the first to say I don't have that 100% , I can assure you all I'm working on it. So, for my prayer warriors out there, I beg you to keep me in your prayers when it comes to resting my mind with all the "what if's" and to trusting that God brought us here, and He will get us through. It's already a done deal, I just have to sit back and watch it all unfold marvelously! As My God performs miracles!!! All you have to do is look to Jaisalyn to see that!
I hope I didn't lose you,
Queen Crazy :)
