Long Live the Queen

Every time I sit down to do this, I start with it's been awhile, and well it has! Things in our lives are continually changing, and I'm not alone in that. Since, I've posted we've made some major lifestyle changes! After 4 months with our last sweet foster baby, we've decided to take a break from fostering! It's funny, because we went to Washington to visit family for a month with the baby, and they now have a new appreciation for what we do! They understand fully how hard it is to love a baby, and give it back not knowing the fate of what will come. Even with this new support system, we decide the best thing for our daughter is to take a break. She's 3 and doesn't understand where the new baby has gone. She continuously asks for him, and it's heartbreaking to say the least! This, however doesn't take away our desires to have a big family, but we will take a break for now and revisit later.

Meanwhile, I've decided to make a huge change in myself, and FINALLY lose the weight I've been holding onto since we've started this baby making journey 11 years ago! WOW I'm old! I've gained 130 lbs through fertility treatments, depression, and just complacency! I started a new 1,200 calorie diet with the biggest loser, and am working out 6 x a week! I drink a gallon of water a day, and am doing pretty good considering! I'm not hungry, and I'm eating good foods. I have joined several 5ks, and am sooo excited about them. (If you would like to follow along with my diet, or working out look me up on my fitness pal. )

Starting this diet is a huge change for myself and my family. I thought some of the harder things would be feeding them as well as me, but to my surprise they are loving my healthy food. Jaisalyn wants to eat everything I am, and usually does 2-3 helpings of her veggies!! Proud parents here lol! Working out has also been challenging considering the change in calorie intake, but I'm still managing that well too. I'm 1 week in and surprised at how well I'm doing! I've already lost 5.6 lbs! Gone forever! I'm also down 6 inches! I was chugging away doing wonderful, and then something unforeseen happened, and Aunt Flow paid a visit. Ding dang it! Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. It's a game changer for sure, but I've maintained my diet and exercise and stayed the course. However, my weight loss has suffered! How do I mentally get over the fact that I haven't lost anything this week? I can't stop mulling over everything I put in my mouth, and whether or not I worked out enough. I'm trying to decide if I'm making the right choices, and how I'm going to go forward.

The worst part about a stall this early in my game, so to speak, is that all of my attempts to lose weight in the past have gotten me to this 5 lb spot, and then nothing! I'm so scared that's where I'm at again. My body has decided it likes to be fat, and won't do anything more. This is why I chose such a drastic program. I'm trying to reboot, and tell my body what the new norm is. Gahhhh, of course it's going to fight me on it. So, where does this leave me?? I have to make a choice... to let this be the end, or to "shake it off" and get my butt up and work out. I will beat these 5 lbs! I will beat my body! (not literally of course) Thanks to the support of my Best Friend and my Hubby, I will push through!

I plan on sharing my journey, as I always have, and hopefully inspiring someone going through a similar process. If this big 'ol lardy booty can do it, then so can you! Sharing in this type of way is probably the scariest part of all. No one wants to admit publically what they've done to their own body. It's shame and guilt inducing pain. Allowing myself to be publicly scrutinized doesn't sound like much fun, but it holds me accountable for what I want for myself. ME! I want this, and only I can do this! Now onto the hardest part of this whole thing......

My starting weight was 260 pounds!

Love to all,

Queen B

A Sick Twist of Fate

When I was younger I did a lot with my grandparents. They lived 8 short blocks from us, and spent nights, weekends, summers, and any time they possibly could with us. I'm not trying to sound cocky or anything, but I was my Grandpa's favorite. As the oldest of his grandchildren, and the only girl... I was his princess, or as he called me his Theedee Bug. It's strange I know.... My mom was known as Bug when she was younger and I was knighted early on as well.

My Grandpa was the most amazing person I've ever known, and today 13+ years later my breath still catches when I think of him. There's an entire town who could back me up when I say that he was a true hero. He was known by many because of his kind heart. He would do anything for anyone. He never drank or even smoked a cigarette in his life. Which makes  his sickness even more heartbreaking! If there ever was a Saint amongst men Rodney James Eastman was him. He didn't even curse! We weren't allowed to say "fart" around him he was that serious! Although, my brother Jeff earned the title Methane from a very young age.... fart was out of the question.

What I remember about my Grandpa most was how he was always there. He had an excavation business as well as cattle he raised for beef. Two successful businesses he started all on his own, and he still came to every volleyball, basketball, softball, and cheerleading game I had. He was always taking us to Lake Roosevelt or Pend 'Oreille to go out on the boat. He was always there making memories with us. I remember bottle feeding calves, picking up strings, and riding in the backhoe. I could go on and on about how he impacted my life, but I think you get the picture.

My Grandma is a nurse. She is also known to a whole town, and many more as a hero. She's helped many people get better. She also helped my Grandpa when he was sick. When I was 17 years old, I participated in a pageant to represent our home town. Although, they had just gotten horrible news, they waited to tell us until after my big night. The next day, however, we learned that my Grandfather had pancreatic, lung, and liver cancer. It was advanced and he didn't have long. He didn't! 3 months to that day my Grandfather passed away at home thanks to my Grandma, mom, and Hospice. This changed me in a way spiritually I'm sure some of you can understand. To say I was angry was an understatement. I still do not understand.

Fast forward 13+ years, and I'm sitting in a Starbucks happy as a clam, because I am kid free! Woohoo! My mom calls me to burst my happy bubble, and tell my that my Grandma is sick, and she has pancreatic cancer. I can honestly tell you that in that moment, my Grandpa flashed through my mind; with the memories of how short his time was, and how sick he got before the end. I was scared, I still am!

Chris was gone, and it was Jaisalyn's 3rd birthday, I had been planning for months. Chris made it by the hair on his chinny chin chin, and we celebrated. As soon as that was over however, I was on a plane with Jaisalyn and our current foster baby to Washington to be with my family.

I wish I could tell you why I sat down to get this off my chest, but I'm not entirely sure. My emotions have been all over the place since we had to come back to NC for the baby. I'm still terrified something is going to go wrong. She needs all the help and prayers she can get, and unfortunately I can only offer prayers way over here. She's a fighter, she will get through this, as will I, and our entire family. We are a family bred from True Heroes
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It's Been a Minute!

Oh boy, where to begin?

It's true my life has been turned upside down in the last couple months. It's hard to keep you updated with Chris' job, and confidentiality with foster care. Now that a few things have changed, I'm going to do the best I can to fill you in on all things Crazy B!

We recently had 2 children come stay with us. They were great in the beginning. We've always set out to take in all God sends us, and to not ask any questions. We learned a valuable lesson with these girls... What we can and can't handle! Times have changed since we last did foster care, and now we have Jaisalyn to think about. She is and will always be the most important part of the equation. Chris has been away with work, and it left me to take care of 3 small children alone. We had some good times, but the bad began to overrun the good, and it got increasingly difficult to give the adequate time and attention all 3 needed. The girls have moved on, and we are deciding together how we want to move on with care.

Chris has come and gone, gone and come! He loves his new job, and it keeps him super busy. We have already been in NC for a whole year. We miss our family, and our working out our long term plans for retiring closer to home. Everyday it changes though. We dream of traveling overseas to Germany or Italy, and one day settling down closer to home... ie the other side of the US!


There's not really a lot going on with us; we're just try to embrace every minute we get together. That's the important part these days. We are going on a family vacay this weekend, and couldn't be more excited... it's the first in a longgggg time! I'm also planning on making a trip to SC to see some good friends who are about to PCS. As always we are in the works for a trip to WA, we'll see how that goes!

Sorry it's not very entertaining, or exciting for that matter... just a small update! Hopefully, I can be back to my witty self soon, and be able to discuss more details.... safety first y'all!!! <3

Love always,

Queen B

Jais and Daddy opening Daddy's presents!

and of course trying them on!!!

Fostering.... Not so Peachy

So we moved to Hinesville, GA in Sept 2009. We bought our house online while still in AK, and then drove to GA when it was time. We knew before we got there that we would be fostering, and would be doing so in the hopes to grow our family. Private adoption is very expensive, and there's a lot of waiting involved. Fostering, however, was free, and they needed people so we would be used and abused before we even knew what happened.

Before I dive into our story, I need everyone to know that this is my story, and my experience. I can only attest to my truths! Also, I've changed or abbreviated names for the safety and security of the children I cared for!

 Now that's out of the way, we were ecstatic to get our license. We contacted the DFACS (Department of Family and Children Services) before we even made it to GA, and set up our first orientation. From there we had to do 30 hours of training, back ground checks, finger printing, drug testing, and several home studies! The paperwork... well let's just say there was A LOT of it!!! A few months of getting all our ducks in a row, and then just waiting! Meanwhile, Chris was due to leave on his 3rd deployment, this time to Afghanistan. We concentrated on us while we were waiting to hear back from the state; did some traveling, family visited, and we had a failed pregnancy before Chris left in April 2010.

In June, I received my first phone call from the state asking if I could come get 3 children! THREE CHILDREN!!!!???? I kindly told the lady that I still hadn't even heard if we were licensed yet! "Oh," she said, "Congrats, now can you come get them?" I guess I failed to mention that it was evening time, so I said sure I will be there as soon as I can. I composed myself best I could and called my long time friend Melissa, who just so happened to live right up the street! (Your welcome Mel!) She was also confused since we hadn't heard whether we had been approved or not, but immediately came over to help me get ready! She handled the bedding, while I went to pick up E 6 years old, A 4 years old, and Ilee who was 6 weeks old. (You will hear a lot about Ilee) They were the most beautiful children I had ever seen. I was sooo nervous since this was my first placement, but somehow we all made it through. I had a lot of help from friends and our church at the time. I definitely couldn't have done it otherwise. People would just show up and drop off clothes, toys, and books! It was fantastic to have so much support. E, A, and Ilee were a lot of fun. We did so much together, but E and A had to go back to their bio family; which left Ilee and me to ourselves. It was just Ilee and me for a month or 2 when I got a call to take 2 more children. This time was K 4 and J 1. They stayed with me a short time. K was my first ethnic hair experience, and I was once again grateful for good friends who could help me out!

After, they left it was once again Ilee and me. She was the sweetest baby, and bonding with her was so easy. I loved her more than anything, and prayed for her safety in life. I wanted her to grow up to be strong, independent and loving regardless of where she went in life. She taught me how to be a mother, and I will forever be grateful for our time together.

A & A entered here for a very brief amount of time. They were sweet and energetic, but shortly went back to their family. I also did some respite care and got B 6 and D 2. They were a handful, and I had them for 2 weeks, while their foster family had to leave the state. Like E and A, they had been through a lot, which made caring for their needs a bit harder. The last kids I got before we stopped taking in kids were J 3 and N 2 months. They were presented to me as adoptable, and I eagerly took them in! I got ahold of Chris in Afghanistan to tell him the happy news, and we were in bliss for a whole 2 days, before we found out that there was a mistake, and they would be returning to their bio family. After them we decided to take a break.

There's a lot of details in Ilee's story, and I don't really want to put it all out there right now. For the time being, know that she is safe in heaven looking down on all of us!

Peace and love,
Queen B